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Finding Joy in Singleness

Before Mandy got married, her aunt Julie, took it upon herself to call at least once a month, and remind Mandy that she was still single. Julie strongly believed that marriage was for EVERYONE. If dogs got married, she would probably give our dog Stella a hard time for being single 🙂 Wait, I wonder if Stella is single, that neighbor dog…..okay, I’m getting off topic. Finding joy in singleness is a beautiful thing.

I believe that most of us have had a Julie in our lives. That person who even gave you a hard time for ending that unhealthy relationship you were involved in. Because to them, it doesn’t matter who or what you’re dating, as long as you’re dating.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to genuinely ask someone about their relationship status and let them explain why they have decided to be single or if they hope to one day get married. What’s not cool is when we don’t listen or respect their decision to be single, to not pursue that girl at the moment or say yes to that geeky boy.

I attended the Firstlight banquet this week and the speaker spoke on the various reasons why some people are still single or choose to stay single. It was really interesting as I was in the process of writing this article 🙂 I love it when random things like that happen, it clearly showed me that God wanted me to write about this.

Anyway, he talked of widows/widowers who decide to never get married again, people with health issues, financial issues and those that haven’t found that special person yet. The one thing he mentioned that I hadn’t thought about was, some Christians who struggle with same sex attraction decide to stay single. But this is a whole nother topic on its own that we might discuss at a later time.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says, “There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven.”

A time to know more about Jesus.

Paul said, “An unmarried person is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he can please the lord, but the married are concerned about the things of the world.” To me, Paul meant that when you’re single (no wife/husband or kids), you have fewer distractions. And having less to think or be concerned about gives you the chance to have your mind at rest and focus on building a relationship with God.

Seriously, what’s more beautiful that this. I would encourage everyone to read that whole Chapter to better understand what Paul said about the married and the unmarried. That dude had wisdom! That dude is legit! He actually encouraged us to stay single, if we’re strong enough to resist any sexual temptations.

Your singleness is a gift from God. This is the time to go on mission trips before committing to anything or anyone else. Travel and spread the gospel to all the corners of the world, if your finances agree with this idea 🙂 (or seek financial support) with God all things are possible.

You can be content with being single

Live out all the plans that Jesus has for you right now. Do not wait to do that awesome thing after you’re married, or put your life on hold. Life does not begin after marriage. Getting to discover and love yourself leads to finding joy in your singleness. One thing we need to realize is that our identity is found in Christ, and not in man. The fear of being single can lead to making wrong choices when it comes to choosing a partner.

Being content revolves around your heart. Being content does not mean that you’re giving up on ever getting married, but that you’re satisfied with the season you’re in right now.

Learn to wait on the Lord.

This is probably the hardest of all. It requires trusting God in an unknown future and having faith that he will come through for you. Faith is recognizing that God is the Lord of time when the idea of timing doesn’t agree with you. I know you’ve heard people say that God’s timing is the best. It’s possible to find joy in singleness during the waiting period. We can wait with joy and anticipation.

As human beings, its normal for us to question God and doubt. One thing that helps me have trust and faith in the unknown is thinking of a time in the past that God answered my prayer.

I honestly never thought I would ever get married. Growing up, I never saw happily married couples. Instead, just lots of bitterness and anger. But God’s timing and will for my life was better than my plans. Meeting my husband made me see that.

Lastly, prepare yourself for marriage

Sometimes you may wonder why you’re not meeting “the one” yet. I saw a quote somewhere that said, “My Prince charming is on the way, but he’s riding a turtle not a horse. He might also have taken a wrong turn and doesn’t want to ask for directions. But I know he will eventually find me.”

It’s true, they will eventually find you. As we said earlier, we only need to be patient, trust and pray. Psalms 27:14, Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord!

Preparing yourself for marriage revolves around the state of your heart and your emotions. Your prayers might be answered tomorrow, so before you start asking God for a partner, you need to ask yourself if you’re emotionally ready to fully serve someone else. To love fully and learn what it looks like to depend on someone. This was my struggle before I got married. Heck, I still find myself struggling with depending on my husband. I was the real definition of what independence looks like. It’s just something I developed growing up. I’ve had to learn what it looks like to surrender myself fully to my husband. Baby steps, but we’ll get there!

Marriage is a beautiful thing. Get married to someone you truly love. I never understood what it meant to marry your best friend until I got married to my husband. To me, marriage is getting to have a sleepover with my best friend every night for the rest of my life 🙂

The next time you meet a “Julie”, tell her that you are exactly where God wants you to be 🙂

It’s my hope that this article spoke to you. I would love some comments from you, tell us what you enjoy most as a single person. What’s that one special thing you do that brings you joy?

Bringing joy to peoples' lives gives me great pleasure. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to leave them in the comment box below or send me an email at and I will get back to you :-)

8 thoughts on “Finding Joy in Singleness”

  1. Very good stuff. I surely have something to say. The first thing is Christians who have same-sex relationships. If you are trying to be a Christian this should not even be something you would do. And what Paul said about single people, for those who can really do it and maintain it, they certainly should not feel pressured.

    It is a blessing in itself. I take it as though if you are in that situation God has put you there to have you focus on whatever it is for you to do serving him. Not everybody is made for it.

    If you are married and not single you are carrying out another one of Gods purposes to not live in sin because most people are not able to beat the lustful desires that we face on this earth.

    Very good topic and I loved the read. Thanks.

    1. Thank you for your insights Ronnie. For the matter of Christians struggling with homosexuality, I would say that I love and accept them the way I love and accept any christian struggling with Pornography, gossip, malice, lying, immorality, Idolatry, jealousy and any other sin we commit as Christians.
      One thing we need to realize is that your sin or my sin is not greater or smaller that another person’s sin. We all fall short of the glory of God and we all need grace. We all need Jesus. He is the one that wipes our sins away and in him we find perfection.

      Seeing it this way helps me not be judgmental.
      I also like what Paul said about never getting married. He said this is what’s best if we’re able to not fall into sexual temptations. If anyone out there is strong enough then I secretly envy them 🙂 It’s the best thing ever to fully focus on the spreading the gospel!! Thank you Ronnie!!!

  2. Hi Esther,
    You have awesome contents here! Totally agree with what you said. I am married and I got to read your other posts to learn more from you. Praise the Lord that you are also sharing the faith here. Keep it up.

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