When my husband and I got engaged, my Dad sat me down and asked me whether I knew what my role as a wife would be. My first response was, “Isn’t Mum supposed to be the one talking to me about this”?
Down the line I have come to appreciate the fact that my Dad talked to me about a woman’s role in marriage. But then again, men are different, and what makes my Dad happy could be (and is) the opposite of what makes my Husband happy or feel loved.
For that reason, a woman’s role in marriage is one of those topics that most people stay away from for fear of sounding archaic or different. For Christians, the Bible clearly tells us what roles women are meant to have in marriage. Some of us decide not to follow what the Bible says since some text is found in the old testament and hence not applicable today because women back then were not educated, didn’t have to work and families never had huge bills to pay.
Well, since I’m not scared of sounding archaic or different, I decided to write this article in the hope that it will be beneficial to someone out there.
Alright, let’s do this!
A woman’s role is to nurture
To nurture is to look after, to take care of, to raise and to encourage the growth of something, in this case someone. By nature, women are born to nurture. Women are not only to take care of their husbands, but also Children.
During the first weeks of our marriage, my husband was still getting used to the idea of having someone pick out his clothes for him. His friends noticed the change in his appearance and asked him why his wardrobe had changed. His response was, ” I didn’t dress myself today and I’m not going to dress myself tomorrow either”, he liked it that he didn’t have to think about what to wear anymore or what colors looked the best together. I have so much fun doing it, it’s like playing dress up with the man you love! It’s my role as his wife to ensure he looks his best out there. It’s not been easy since my husband is the most minimalist, simplest person you’ll ever meet but we do have some good days 🙂
As his wife, I’m also supposed to dress appropriately to protect my image for the sake of my husband.
I cook and serve food for my husband. It’s his role to provide the food while mine is to prepare it. Sometimes we cook together and thats a lot of fun too! I’m a little scared to have him cook the whole meal for us though cause the only things we may get is grilled cheese! The best feeling is when my husband likes what I cook for him, well, he likes everything I make even when it tastes uncooked or too salty 🙂
Another role is to encourage and build up your husband and children. Nothing breaks a mans spirit like a nagging and discouraging wife. It’s our role to make our husbands feel like Kings in their little castle. Do not talk negatively about your husband to other women, no matter how douchey he is. He is your man, defend and protect his honor!! If someone says something negative about him be ready to punch them, just kidding, don’t punch, no one is punching anyone here, just tell them they are wrong and show them the other side of your husband. (Unless he is abusing you, then please seek help!)
Make a home for her family
When my husband and I got married, his house was, well, it was in a bad state. It wasn’t that bad it just didn’t have a woman’s touch in it. I wish I took before and after pictures for you! It’s weirdly amazing how women take over once they get married 🙂 . I love the color yellow, and I had to stop myself before everything in the house was yellow!
Women create a home, from gardening to cleaning the house to putting everything in order. That’s our role, to make a home for our family.
Pray for her family
A Virtuous wife prays for her family. She is their prayer warrior. She presents her requests before God and intercedes for her family. Someone once told me that a prayerful wife is like a “well that never dries.” Stormie Omartian wrote a book called, “The power of a praying wife”, it talks about letting go of all the power in yourself and relying fully on God’s power to transform your marriage and everything about your life.
I remember growing up my mother would pray for us, she would pray for our performance in school and pray for my Dad’s job. Till now, I still call my mum whenever I need prayers for something, she always says, “You don’t even need to ask me to pray for you, I already did”.
When I first met my Husband’s Mum she told me that she had been praying for me since the day I was born. She said she prayed for her son’s wife while he was still in her womb.
A prayerful wife prays for her husbands health, well-being, heart, job, temptations, wisdom, relationships with friends…the list is endless. My husband directs a ministry called When the Saints, that rescues young girls from sexual assault / trafficked situations. As a leader, he faces hardships that require constant prayer, and as his wife, I’m called to pray for his ministry, to seek God’s will and I intend to do so till the day God calls me home.
A Woman’s role is to Submit to her Husband
This right here is one of those roles that make women’s skin crawl. Most people interpret this as women allowing themselves to be seen as slaves. And I do agree to some extent that some men have used this to manipulate and abuse their wives. Ephesians 5:22: Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. So yeah, men, be careful when it comes to your wives submitting to you. Do not misquote this verse!! I repeat, do not misquote this verse!!
Men are to love and honor their wives, the same way God loves the church.